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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25866301">The Giant Squid Left A While Ago</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheEnglishImmy/pseuds/TheEnglishImmy'>TheEnglishImmy</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Animagus Harry Potter, Crack Treated Seriously, Gen, Harry is the Giant Squid, Sort Of, not really - Freeform</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 07:54:54</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,882</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25866301</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheEnglishImmy/pseuds/TheEnglishImmy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>How Harry spent his last years at Hogwarts subbing for the Giant Squid while she travelled the world, because dealing with Umbridge and Voldermort wasn't enough pressure. Maybe if his friends had known they wouldn't have spent those years looking at him like he'd lost his marbles when he disappeared at all hours. Then again, he was pretending to be the Giant Squid. Hagrid understands though, so that's good?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>149</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>The Giant Squid Left A While Ago</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>So I made the mistake of mentioning my idea of Harry secretly being the Giant Squid to my friends, at which point I kinda had to follow through. It was meant to be less serious but it turns out I can't write crack. Oh well. Enjoy!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Harry had a secret. Well, not a secret, not really. Just, a Thing that nobody else knew. But that didn’t mean it was a secret. He wasn’t hiding it exactly. More like no one had noticed, and he hadn’t brought it up and so they didn’t know? Did that count? To have a secret, he would have to have been secretive! Which he wasn’t, truly. Well, maybe he was, just a little. But not when it came to his friends, just the public. The press and all that. He kept loads of secrets from the press, it’s called privacy and he had a right to it, just like anyone else, no matter. The press never left him alone these days and they would be even more unbearable if they knew about this! But it wasn’t a secret from his friends! More like, something about him that they didn’t know yet. He didn’t know everything about them either. Surely, it’s not unusual to not know every little thing about your friends right away, even with best friends like Ron and Hermione.<br/>
<br/>
Except…this wasn’t really a little thing at all. It wasn’t little, it wasn’t even new, and the only reason his friends hadn’t asked him about it was because he hadn’t given them any reason to be suspicious (which was surprisingly easy considering how worried about him they’d been since the end of the war).<br/>
<br/>
Oh, who was he kidding, he had a secret. Yes, even from his closest friends, the ones he considered family. And while it wasn’t a massive deal by any stretch of the imagination (and it was a stretch of the imagination), it wasn’t exactly a small thing either, no matter how inconsequential he may have told himself it was. Harry didn’t even really know why he hadn’t told them yet, years ago when it first happened; before revealing the fact that he hadn’t told them became more daunting than revealing the Thing itself.<br/>
<br/>
He’s lying to himself now (a worse habit than lying to his friends), he knew exactly why he’d concealed it from them. It was personal, and talking about it brought up painful memories and, quite frankly, the Thing itself was more than a little embarrassing when looked at from the wrong angle. Which he did, frequently.<br/>
<br/>
The Thing, happened to be his Animagus form. The one he never registered with the ministry in case it ever became useful as a sort of ‘secret weapon’ against Voldemort’s followers. You know, for all those amphibian operations they’d conducted to win the war. That was sarcasm. Because Harry’s Animagus form was that of a Squid. A giant fucking squid. In short, his Animagus was ugly and useless, to the point where he couldn’t even survive for more than five minutes on land. Sirius (who had helped him achieve the transformation during his stay at Grimmauld Place in the summer before fifth year) had laughed his arse off for a full fifteen minutes, stopping occasionally to cast water over his effectively beached godson. Harry, finally managing to transform back after his time spent flopping on the floor, was less amused (although very glad for the size expansion charms on the basement of Grimmauld Place).<br/>
<br/>
Despite his initial (and continued) amusement, Sirius had then transformed part of the basement into a sort of secret swimming pool where he taught Harry to swim in his human form, a skill they both deemed necessary for getting in and out of bodies of water without drowning. His friends were too busy cleaning under the watchful eye of Molly Weasley to notice his absences and Harry, angry at their lack of letters and cherishing getting to know his fathers friend, appreciated the one on one time too much to invite them (especially knowing that they would insist on joining in). As such, they weren’t told of his transformation at the time. Fifth year was a nightmare right from the start and by the next summer, Sirius was dead, making the information seemingly even more sacred. After the war? By then it just felt like the lie had gone on too long.<br/>
<br/>
Initially, returning to Hogwarts for his fifth year, Harry had avoided the lake. The dangerous creatures he had encountered during the Tri-Wizard tournament were still fresh in his mind and as such, he had decided that being eaten wasn’t on his to do list for this year, no matter how inviting the water looked (and it had looked very inviting. He’d just taken that to be a squid thing, too many other things to worry about to concern himself with being attracted to dangerous bodies of water). But, a few stressful months into fifth year and potentially drowning in the lake seemed like a nice alternative to murdering Umbridge and her inquisitional squad of self-righteous Slytherins. So, he took the plunge.<br/>
<br/>
Literally.<br/>
<br/>
It had been stiflingly cold for a moment and then, well, then he’d been a squid (Harry didn’t mind the cold so much in his Animagus form. Perks of his Squidiness he supposed). It had turned out that the residents of the lake had been much more welcoming to a fellow marine creature than they had been to the human Harry of previous year (although the mermaids took some bribing) leaving Harry feeling safer in the lake than within the walls of Hogwarts.<br/>
<br/>
The Giant Squid was nothing like he’d expected either, not that he had ever expected to be holding a conversation with it (or her, apparently). For once however, the universe had happened to be on his side as, contrary to his worries, she was positively delighted to see him. She had eagerly explained to the increasingly confused squid Animagus how desperate she’d been to travel the world’s oceans, having heard all about their ‘wondrous infinity’ from the more well-travelled mermaids (their words, not hers, she had assured him). Apparently held back only by her ‘duty to the students of Hogwarts’, she had taken his appearance as a sign that she should spread her tentacles and swim after her dreams. What that duty was, Harry never quite figured out, but he was happy enough to fill in for her while she took what sounded like a much deserved holiday (it had seemed rude to inquire how she intended to get out of the lake, he figured she had a plan) and easily accepted his duty as her substitute for a few years.<br/>
<br/>
And so, convincingly filled her shoes is exactly what he’d done. For the rest of fifth and sixth year, he had made weekly appearances as the squid (whom he had privately begun to refer to as Belinda in his head when ‘The real Giant Squid’ became too much of a mouthful). Unsurprisingly, having informed his godfather of the promise he made via owl, Sirius snuck onto the grounds (braving Umbridge) to take photos in the summer of fifth year, just weeks before the Ministry. “For the mantel” he’d said.  Harry’d taken pride in his ability to evade his friends, largely through the projection of a teenage desire to be left alone at random times, while varying the times that he made appearances as the squid so as not to appear obvious. Sixth year had eventually come to a (rather explosive) close leaving the students and staff of Hogwarts none the wiser that their famed Giant Squid had gone on a rather extended holiday.<br/>
<br/>
Except Hagrid of course. It had taken the gamekeeper all of five minutes to realise that his GOOD FRIEND the Giant Squid had been replaced by an imposter (thanks for the warning Belinda), long before Umbridge had the chance to fire him. That had been an awkward conversation to say the least. Although, if Hagrid were reading their relationship correctly, Harry didn’t think Belinda would be too concerned that he had sussed her out.<br/>
<br/>
He’d eventually convinced Hagrid that he wasn’t lying (and that he hadn’t gone and completely lost the plot) after a frankly bizarre discussion and embarrassing demonstration which had only led to more questions.<br/>
<br/>
“Well you see Hagrid, I’m actually Harry Potter, squid Animagus and friend of the Giant Squid, taking her place for a year or so to avoid suspicion while she travels the world’s oceans in search of Squid love?”<br/>
<br/>
“No, I don’t know how she got out of the lake either. Magic, probably.” (That seemed to Harry to be the wizarding worlds answer to most unexplainable things. Simply, magic).”<br/>
<br/>
And<br/>
<br/>
“No, I don’t know why she didn’t tell you, maybe she didn’t know how? But yeah, she’ll definitely be back. Apparently, she has unfinished business with the mermaids? Gambling debts or something. Do squids gamble? … The mermaids host an annual poker tournament? How does that even work?”<br/>
<br/>
He’d left for dinner no longer convinced of his sanity and having promised to translate between Hagrid and the Giant Squid when she’d returned from her travels. Harry had from then on explained many of his absences as visits to Hagrid who was happy to cover for a friend who was covering for a friend (weirdly, this had worked even after Umbridge had forced him into hiding? His friends must really have thought he’d lost the plot, spending so much time alone in Hagrid’s empty hut). Did it say more about the strength of their friendship or Hagrid’s ability to make friends that he was so attached to the Giant Squid, Harry had wondered, resolving to visit Hagrid more often in the future.<br/>
<br/>
From what he had heard from his peers, it seemed that no one had noticed that the giant squid was missing for what would have been Harry’s seventh year. Even if they had noticed, Harry supposed they’d had bigger concerns than where the lakes wildlife had gone. Harry supposed she was rather lucky, missing the conflict on the grounds of Hogwarts. Not that much of it made it to the lake, but he knew the lack of children to harass would have made her sad.<br/>
<br/>
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br/>
<br/>
Now, standing in the aftermath of the final battle, Harry headed to the lakeside, looking for respite from the death and destruction and mourning of the castle and its inhabitants. He spotted Neville, sitting by the far shore and slowly made his way over, sitting beside him with his back to the castle. Some hours passed this way in silence until Neville, eyes scanning the lake, broke the silence.<br/>
<br/>
“I wonder what happened to the Giant Squid, I haven’t seen her in a while”<br/>
<br/>
The question was rhetorical, he knew that, it was rather obvious. But, after the despair of the day; after the despair of the year, Harry just couldn’t resist.<br/>
<br/>
“Oh? The Giant Squid left a while ago. But don’t worry, she’ll be back. Gambling debts, ya know?”<br/>
<br/>
Neville wasn’t the first person to look at him like he was crazy that afternoon. Harry just lay back on the grass, staring up at the sky, failing to hide his amusement at the look Neville was giving him.<br/>
<br/>
Belinda was due back soon, three years she had said. He couldn’t wait to hear about her travels. The sea life she had met, any potential squid suitors or squidlings to play with. Maybe she would teach him how the mermaids played poker?</p>
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